Autumn folly.

For some reason, autumn has always been a time of change for me, and a time of particular restlessness.

So I've joined AgeMatch.com so that I may trawl the internet in search of more mature male totty, as opposed to the disappointing PlentyOfFish catch -  one-liner cavemen, most of them.

My profile is suitably erudite and intelligent-sounding, though I stumble when I have to rate my attractiveness given the following options 'Hot', 'Quite Hot', 'Good Looking', 'Some People Think I'm OK' and 'Downright Hideous'.  I settle for 'Good Looking'.

You have to put up photos as well, because men are supposedly more visual than women. Most women put up photos of themselves lounging around in bikinis and/or trying to look sultry. I've got those as well...somewhere...but to weed out the male Barbies, I put up photos of myself crossing raging torrents with a massive rucksack, catching lobsters with my bare hands, and one of myself in full combat gear before a paintballing session. It would take a very secure man not to be frightened off by 'dwarf of war'.

My ideal match?

I’m looking to connect with a worldly, independent, open-minded, self-aware, ambitious and mentally stimulating human being who will challenge my outlook on life with their own, who can hold their ground in a debate and who possesses a sharp wit and a sense of humour – a tall order, I know!

(Technically, the above has always been true, so how on earth I ended up with more than one insolvent, immature, unambitious and emotionally damaged male is beyond me..)

A variety of interests are essential; I like a man who is passionate about something - even if it's stamp collecting! Your interests don’t have to coincide with my own, though it helps to have some common ground.
(I've certainly gone out with passionate people before - passionate about certain illegal substances, for instance).

I keep an open mind as far as ethnicity, culture and age is concerned, though I tend to be attracted to older men (as in, 20-30 years older than me). Experience has taught me that older men tend to be less insecure, have less to prove and have greater life experience. I must confess that I also like facial hair - goatees, beards, proper mustaches, stubble...I'm a very tactile person and I like the textures. If you feel that the above describes you, get in touch. Or grow a mustache and get in touch.(The first part of the first sentence is not quite the bare-faced lie it once used to be: I will try not to apply the 'affirmative action' principle to my relationships. Clean-shaven men may also apply but only if they have a plethora of character attributes to outweigh the hairlessness).

Two hits straight away.

Hello.l found your profile very interesting and l would love to know u better.l am a mature older man 55 y.old who loves young girls like u.I hope you like older men too..I am single and looking for friendship relation or serious relation..What do u think if we meet and spend some time together to see if we can match?Please send me your pics and you e-mail, tell me some things about u .

It's from a dumpy-looking man from Paradis, Lousiana. How can I reject someone who lives one letter away from heaven? Wait a minute - there are letters missing elsewhere: a whole bunch of 'y's and 'o's, for starters. Not a good sign. Also, he clearly hasn't read my profile and when I check out his, it turns out that he's after anything, including marriage, his only criteria being that the other party is between the ages of 18-25. As I said, he clearly hasn't read my profile. I may look like I'm twelve, but these days I hardly qualify as a 'young girl'. Next!

The other one is more thought-provoking:

...If nothing else it's refreshing and rare to find a cogent profile written by someone who clearly knows herself and can express it. That first caught my passing attention but then your personality and looks made me focus in a very specific way. I share a number character traits and some interests with you and broadly meet the specification you set out for your men (but no facial hair - I might sometimes indulge you with stubble!) but there are differences in circumstances and approach which could offer a vibrant and secure but flexible relationship, depending on what you are looking for. I'm within traveling distance and I'm a much-better-than-average example, physically and in terms of attitudes, of a guy in his 60s, or 50s come to that...



Okay, so he's a teensy bit older than I'd normally go for, but he sounds articulate and intelligent and he's prepared to make concessions to my love of facial hair - bonus!

I wonder what a 'vibrant and secure but flexible relationship' would consist of.
I shall make further enquiries.